fomo → fobo
My cute boomer dad recently schooled me on a gen-z term: FOBO—fear of better options. I hold generational generalizations loosely. But it fascinated me. A succinct definition from a helpful and grace-filled TGC article:
The average young person’s inner dialogue seems to have shifted from What if I don’t go and they have fun without me? to What if I commit now and regret it later?
Despite being a millennial, I don’t FOMO. Instead, I am the caricature introvert whose inner dialogue is What if I go and wish I just stayed at home to read a book with a nice warm cuppa tea? 👵🏼 But I remember back in 2012 when I landed in Singapore at 21-years-old. With the multiple moves my family made in the prior decade, I lost sight of the beauty of commitment. I did not value roots. My narrative was I’ll be leaving soon, so why bother committing? I wanted to be untethered. In that sense, I resonated with FOBO.
The tldr from the guy who coined FOMO & FOBO:
FOBO is a learned behavior, but it can be unlearned as well. And while you might think that cutting down your options will mean you’ll suffer, you’ll find it is actually entirely liberating.
This was especially true for me when it came to becoming a member of a local church. This was the last thing I wanted to do, much less when I moved across the world (alongside other complex layers like my general wariness-of-institutions and my pastors-kid-ick). Oddly enough, it wasn’t a bible verse that convicted me to stop hum-and-hawing. It was a poem.
It was William Hutchison Murray quoting Goethe (which may not actually have been Goethe, but the internet continues to mis-attribute it to him, so we shall too):
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.
I’m not sure if it was some combination of the words magic and boldness and acts of creation, the repetition of begin it now, the acknowledgement of Providence moving with me. But it clicked. All this to say, when anyone asks me why I committed to joining my church nearly twelve years ago, why I gave roots a shot, why I learned to stay, I say poetry. (no, reb, heresy! the answer is always jesus!)
on repeat
Elevation Worship’s 3-minute live choir version of Jehovah (thanks, becca!) Look no further if you need a dance party and a reminder of how big our God is:
Jehovah Nissi fight your battles
Jehovah Jireh meet your need
Jehovah Rapha heal your body
Jehovah Shalom be your peaceTauren Well’s Never Lost
Maverick City’s God Problems. Life is full of God-sized problems, so let’s give them to Him to figure out <3
Tribl’s Grave Clothes
Billie Eilish’s 18-second teaser !!!
a lullaby
I’ve been praying Psalm 91. A friend asked to help pray for peace and protection over her family, specifically right before bedtime. I especially love these verses:
9 Because you have made the Lord—my refuge,
the Most High—your dwelling place,
10 no harm will come to you;
no plague will come near your tent.
11 For he will give his angels orders concerning you,
to protect you in all your ways.
The other night as I was plunk-and-praying on my piano, I realized that the lyrics of Christ Will Be My Hideaway is Psalm 91! I felt Holy Spirit nudge me to no-fuss record one take on my phone as a prayer lullaby to send to my friend. So I did. A bit warbly, but whole-hearted. May it bring you peace that surpasses all knowledge:
I will dwell within the shelter
Of the God who reigns above
I will rest beneath the shadow
Of the mighty King of love
Though a sickness hides in darkness
Though a plague destroys by day
I will stand upon His promises
Christ will be my hideawayIn You, my God, I trust
You are strong and here with us
In You, my hope remains
Christ will be my hideawayAngels gather to protect me
When they hear my Savior call
Sovereign hands are ever ready
To uphold me, should I fall
Safe beneath His wings of refuge
All my fears are kept at bay
I am shielded by His faithfulness
Christ will be my hideawayThough a thousand fall around me
Though death looks me in the eye
Evil shall not have the victory
While the Lord is at my side
God, in power, raised my Savior
I no longer fear the grave
God, in power, raised my Savior
I no longer fear the grave
Through this fragile life and evermore
Christ will be my hideaway
Thank you for reading, friends! May the rest of your week be heretic-free.
love,
reb
Lovely rendition of a beautiful song 💓
This is a lovely song.