A 90's love ballad to Jesus
and filing my taxes
The nephew used to be terrified of the ocean. I don’t blame him (the waves are endless and he is so smol!) But now he likes flirting with the surf, running right up to the shoreline as the water foams under his chubby toes. Just when it seems he is so independent, so adventurously fearless, he lifts an arm upward and wiggles his fingers eagerly. He wants me to hold his hand <3
filing my taxes
Ah, my nemesis. The one life admin task that I procrastinate year after year after year. Last year was the worst. Like a delinquent, I sent in my paperwork on June 15th—the last possible extension given to U.S. citizens living overseas. My poor tax guy. Thankfully, I’m a small fry. Chump change for the U.S. government. I don’t even make enough to have to actually pay taxes. Frankly, I don’t make enough to need a tax guy. But with the complexities of not living in my passport country, I pay him each year to help me file because I don’t want muscles in black suits and sunnies showing up at my door in 20 years citing me for tax evasion, chucking me away in a cushy cell somewhere with the sociopathic-yet-semi-classy white-collar criminals.
But, this year, I did it. Last Friday night, I made a date with my 1099 forms and submitted everything. Huzzah! Yay me! Ownself pat on back! I would not be surprised if my accountant of 11 years gives me a discount for breaking my tardy streak. Or at least a sticker. (As for Singapore taxes, I don’t have annual existential dread over it because it takes 5 minutes and the gahmen does all the work. Amazing! 10/10! 5 stars! Take my money!)
latest listens
I’ve been on a music kick, mostly re-exploring old sounds sprinkled with some new:
discovered the jazz piano albums by Ola W. Jannsen, this one is a good start
jamming to my favorite album from Sara Bareilles: The Blessed Unrest
reminiscing to old-school 00’s songs that used to be on the mixed-CDs my friends would swap (in the murky era after cassette tapes but before Spotify and Youtube heh): We are Broken by Paramore, Eet by Regina Spektor, Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman, Be My Escape by Reliant K, and There’s a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered by Panic! At The Disco.
if you need 2 minutes and 10 seconds of angst, I love Horowitz performing Scriabin’s Etude in D# Minor
dancing to this new bop by Dua Lipa that is deeper than it seems
one of the first CDs I ever bought with my own money: the Wicked Broadway soundtrack
yet another a praying church quote
Jesus’s prayer life is driven by his experience of sonship. As a son, he can do nothing on his own. He is the most dependent human being who ever lived. All too often Christians see prayer through the lens of discipline, as in, “If I were more disciplined, I’d pray more.” But dependence, not discipline, drives Jesus’s prayer life.
The motivator matters. It’s crazy that Jesus is 100% ok with my neediness of a savior to be the main reason for me to run to Him. Not because I’m good enough or disciplined enough or submitted my taxes on time. But because I depend on Him for everything. It’s as if He designed prayer for this very purpose.
a song
My church has been going through the book of Philippians. I like imagining that if Paul the apostle was a musical theater nerd then Knowing You (by Graham Kendrick) would be the 90’s love ballad he’d sing to Jesus whilst stuck in prison. Pair this with Whitney and Mariah’s powerhouse of When You Believe (fun fact: lyrics written by Stephen Schwartz who also wrote Wicked!) and we’ve got ourselves a show.
I’ve known this worship song my whole life, yet the lyrics hit differently after a season of marinating in the scripture passages it references. I especially love listening to this version by Steffany Gretzinger. When I’m plunking in my living room, this song has been helping me to let the word of Christ dwell richly in me:
All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to thisKnowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, LordNow my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousnessOh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die
Thank you for reading, friends! Render to Caesar what is Caesar’s!
love,
reb
I love many of Jon foreman's songs!!